Anniversaries are tough

Sunday, February 24, was the third anniversary of Jerry’s stroke. Wow, it hit me so hard–much harder than I expected. First thing in the morning, I remembered the day it was. How could I ever forget February 24, 2016? It changed our lives forever! The day of the stroke, I was given a prognosis of certain death within days, weeks at most. And 22 months later, I was able to say goodbye to my sweetheart after taking care of him for that precious time. God was so gracious to me and blessed my life so much with Jerry’s care.

The preacher had a sermon on healing and explained real healing comes in heaven. It was tough to hear. I cried through most of the songs and while taking notes. The day was difficult all day with memories and tears. Yesterday, I had an annual dermatology appointment. The last dermatology appointment was for Jerry and was 12 days before he died. It was another tough day.

Last weekend, I attended two of the performances of Beauty and the Beast, the Moore High School musical this year. Lynn, my daughter, did a marvelous job as musical director. Even though I took 4 OU international students and Henry (my special friend) on Friday night and then Henry’s family on Saturday (his son, daughter-in-law, and 7 grandchildren ages 1-11), Jerry’s absence was so real to Lynn and I. It was a somber weekend feeling the hole Jerry left.

Yes time heals but it does take time. Healing is coming but then there are those set backs like this weekend. God is good and continues to provide many areas of my life to have fulfillment and joy. I just have to get through these more difficult days.

Colossians 3:15 – “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.” The peace of Christ is a beautiful thing and I can have it during any troubling time. There is peace in the grieving knowing Jerry is in such a better place. The is peace in God’s care of me every day! God has been truly amazing in my grieving journey.

Today I am thankful for:

  • No snow like my previous home of Wisconsin is having.
  • A great book I read last weekend, Field of Grace, a Biblical fiction about Ruth.
  • Wonderful performances of Beauty and the Beast.
  • Excitement building for my trip in 2 weeks to Israel and Egypt.
  • A good report from the dermatologist.
  • My grandson, David, calling last night to check on me.
  • Henry coming over to let me remember and cry with him.
  • Finding a beautiful butterfly scarf today to wear this spring.
  • A friend at church getting out of the hospital today.
  • The peace of Christ I have in my heart!

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Lois Cox, Ph.D., has roots in Dallas, Texas, but met her husband, Jerry, at Oklahoma Christian College, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma in 1966. They married in 1967 and started a life together of serving God in several locations. Seven of their years were in full-time ministry in churches in Midwest City, Oklahoma, Tulsa, Oklahoma, and Ft. Collins, Colorado. Most of Lois’s career has been spent in education at the high school, technical college, and university levels. Lois holds four degrees in education including a Ph.D. completed in her late sixties in instructional technology and online learning. On February 24, 2016, Lois was plummeted into the role of caregiver for her husband who suffered a rare and serious bilateral thalamic stroke. The next 22 months were spent in full-time care of Jerry in skilled nursing, hospitals, and at home. Jerry passed away December 30, 2017. Since that time Lois has been focusing on sharing her experiences with others to encourage and teach them to depend on the Lord during similar stressful times. Her book, 22 Months with Jerry, will be available soon.

One thought on “Anniversaries are tough”

  1. I am so happy that you had family and friends to share the difficult time with. May God bless you in your preparation for your trip. It is one that I wish we were able to make and know you will enjoy and get much from the experience.


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