First of all, let me say it has been a very long time since I wrote. That is not because the grieving has stopped but life has just gotten busier and busier even through COVID. I had COVID and survived with only a mild case.
My book is now with a publisher. In that process, it has been edited twice more causing me to continually read it. Each time is filled with tears and memories. December 30 will mark 3 years since my sweet guy went to be with the Lord. Every day there are a few tears shed as I remember his life, our life together for 50 plus years.
One of the scriptures I reread in proofing the book again was Joel 2:25:
“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm—
my great army that I sent among you.”
That verse was in the introduction of the book. My thought in reading the scripture was God promised to repay me for the years of caregiving for Jerry. Please understand I am not saying those years were wasted–absolutely not. I continually thank God for the time I had with my sweet guy at the end of his life and all the lessons I learned. However, my life was put on hold and God promised to repay that part.
In my Christmas newsletter which you can access here, I explain the new life God is giving me. I am richly blessed to be starting a new job in January–the one I hoped to get when I moved back to Oklahoma 6 years ago. There was just a 6 year detour. I also have now dated Henry for 2 years as of yesterday. We have a blessed life together serving God especially through our ministry to international students at Oklahoma University. God has definitely given me back those years and then some.
The stockings hung in the picture show my ability to decorate for Christmas a little without being reminded that Jerry’s stocking is no longer there.
Today I am thankful for:
- The Christmas season celebrating the birth of our savior.
- The reminder of Jerry all month and remembering our precious 50-year marriage.
- The new job waiting for me in January.
- Dating such a great Christian widower, Henry.
- The ministry we have together serving the internationals–3 have been baptized into Christ.
- The family I have here close to spend time with almost daily.
- The recovery from COVID my daughters, one grandson, and I have had.
- The arrival of the vaccine promising relief from the pandemic.
- The blessing of technology to allow churches to keep worshipping together during this time.
- My Zoom life group Christmas party coming up this Sunday.
- The years of caregiving being given back to me by God.